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Whether it’s tossing a hairdryer into a bathtub, or a savage beating with a baseball bat, there’s nothing Mikey enjoys more than murdering people who show him affection and kindness.

Cheerful children are ditched at the airport by grandparents who are more than happy to see them go. Glamorous, friendly flight attendants and glamorous, friendly airline staffers help them through every step of their journey. The whole 1950s flying process is so pleasant that this feels more like science fiction than any science fiction films made in the 1950s.

The government is clearing out the Bronx, promising people a better future in enchanting New Mexico. But there’s something about the way those goons are roasting innocent citizens with flamethrowers that seems a little untrustworthy…

A babysitter with basic survival instincts doesn’t let the house burn down, and might just be the local paper’s “Hero Of The Week”, despite the misgivings of a hard-boiled investigative reporter for the Neighborhood News section. 

Universal Soldier III: Unfinished Business is here to chew bubblegum and finish business, and the budget’s too low to afford bubblegum.