The Parts of Speech

 Parts.  We all have them.  Some of them are public, like elbows and unibrows.  Some of them are private, like thigh pimples or the complete set of Bob Seger CDs that you pray your new girlfriend doesn't stumble across.  But did you know that people aren't the only things with parts?  Since we can't hear your answer, we'll assume you said, "No, that's surprising, please proceed with the comedic description."  You got it, friends!

It turns out the English language* is made up of several components, all laid out in The Parts of Speech.  Some of them might be familiar, but if you've always struggled to define exactly why an adverb can modify not only verbs, but also adjectives and other adverbs...well, this short will be of no use to you.  But it will dazzle you with its majestic beach scenes, featuring a boy far too old to be wearing that diaper, playful near-drownings, and the contemptuous monster of a narrator, Dr. Dwight L. Burton!  Also, a beach towel is subjected to extreme homophobia.

Join Mike, Kevin and Bill as they head to the ocean, the most logical location for confusing grammar lessons courtesy of The Parts of Speech!

*Note: the English language may be officially dead by the time you read this, thanks to teh internetz.