The Christmas Martian

Our most beloved Christmas movies all have that one line that makes you feel all warm and cozy inside, no matter how many times you’ve heard it: “That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.” “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid!” “Merry Christmas you wonderful old building and loan!” “My name is Poo Flower.”

That last one is from The Christmas Martian, a French-Canadian movie that’s sure to become a beloved holiday tradition right up there with that VHS of Christmas With The Kranks you discovered your older brother recorded over with an episode of Red Shoe Diaries.

Poo Flower, (that is his name, we’re all gonna have to deal with it) is the titular martian. He does not come from Mars, and that’s honestly way down on the list of things that concern us about this movie. He shows up in Canada and proceeds to endanger the hell out of the two children who discover him. Fire, heavy machinery, horse manure, and a whole pile of alien pills are but a sampling of the delights these kids encounter at the hands of, say it with us now: Poo Flower.

As you’d expect this ends with a violent mob chasing down the poor alien on Christmas Eve. That’s when he’s forced to unleash the full force of his Martian powers to… well, you wouldn’t even believe us if we told you.

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals! Join Mike, Kevin, Bill, and Poo Flower for The Christmas Martian!

Written by: Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, Conor Lastowka, Sean Thomason, Jason Miller, and Zach Shatzer

Photosensitivity warning: The Christmas Martian contains scenes with flashing images and lights. This film also contains scenes depicting tobacco use, and racial stereotypes. It truly is one of the holiday movies of all time.

Digital Video file formats

Legacy devices (263.59 MB)
Low (411.8 MB)
Medium (747.84 MB)
High (TV) (1.18 GB)
Burnable DVD Image (3.62 GB)

Digital HD Video file formats

Legacy devices (263.59 MB)
Low 360p (411.8 MB)
Medium 360p (747.84 MB)
High (TV) 480p (1.18 GB)
HD Low 720p (762.17 MB)
HD Medium 720p (1.18 GB)
HD High 1080p (6.75 GB)
Burnable SD DVD Image (3.62 GB)

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Poster art by <a href="https://lenperalta.com">Len Peralta</a>
Poster art by Len Peralta

RiffMeter rating

8.89362
Average: 8.9 (47 votes)

Content Rating

TVPG Rating: TV-PG
Photosensitivity warning
Smoking

Collection

Movie Decade

Riffed By

Release date

December 15, 2023

Runtime

63 minutes
Closed Captions