Tickets are on sale to see RiffTrax LIVE in theaters nationwide! See RiffTrax in a theater near you on August 8th and 13th - OR - See us IN PERSON in Minneapolis on July 27th!

The Apple

Please choose a format above.

The year was 1980 and one trend was sweeping America! No, not that animated dancing cat from the Paula Abdul video. We admire you thinking outside the box, but jeez, you were off by like nine years. Reign it in a bit. We were talking about the nationwide fad of really crappy musicals!

Yes, 1980 brought us Xanadu, The Village People’s Can’t Stop the Music and of course the crown* jewel of them all: The Apple. Because what we needed at the start of Reagan’s America was the book of Genesis set to music.

The Apple tells the story of Alphie and Bibi, a pair of sweetheart musicians from Canada who make the Osmonds look like GG Allin. Alphie’s vaguely foreign-y accent and resemblance to sensei John Kreese do nothing to slow them down as they ascend the ladder to stardom. Of course, they have a little assistance from Mr. Boogalow of the sinister BIM Corporation, which is at times a record company, an oppressive totalitarian regime and the producer of a reality singing TV show (listed in order from least despicable to most.) Forgot the name BIM already? Do not worry, there is a solid ten minutes of the movie where people shout it at you while doing aerobics.

When Bibi is unable to resist the temptation and signs the record contract (GET IT???) she’s vaulted to superstardom, but at what cost? The answer appears to be not much for her. She’s actually doing pretty OK. Alphie on the other hand moves in with an elderly female landlord, as you do when times get rough. The real victims of Satan’s nefarious temptation appears to be the audience’s ear drums, which are assaulted with a variety of songs that are best described as Disco’s death rattle.

Mike, Kevin and Bill would love to stop and chat but they just got word that BIM is on the way. Why don’t you watch The Apple while they wait for him to get here.

*One of those cheap cardboard crowns you get at Burger King

Digital Video file formats

Legacy devices (319.19 MB)
Low (566 MB)
Medium (1.01 GB)
High (TV) (1.63 GB)
Download to Burn (3.95 GB)

Digital HD Video file formats

Legacy devices (319.19 MB)
Low (566 MB)
Medium (1.01 GB)
High (TV) 480p (1.63 GB)
HD Low 720p (1.02 GB)
HD Medium 720p (1.63 GB)
HD High 1080p (9.2 GB)
Burnable SD DVD Image (3.95 GB)

All digital products you purchase from are DRM-free, can be played across a large variety of devices, and are yours to keep ... forever! Even if you have a hard drive meltdown, you can always log back into the site and re-download all of your previous purchases.

For our Download and Stream products, you can stream the product to your computer or to your TV via Chromecast, or download to a device that can play the MP4 file format. For more information on our video formats, please see this KB article.

Just the Jokes are simply MP3 files which are DRM free and can be enjoyed on any device that can play this common audio format.

Poster art by <a rel="_blank" href="">Jason Martian</a>
Poster art by Jason Martian

RiffMeter rating

Average: 9.1 (435 votes)

Content Rating



Movie Decade

Release date

April 16, 2013


87 minutes
Captions (Streaming Video)