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You know you’re in for a treat when we were considering starting this description, “When an Estonian cyborg defects to America...”

This Estonian cyborg, as you’ve come to expect from Estonian cyborgs by this point in time, is the ultimate killing machine. Played by The Actor You Get When Reb Brown is Making Something Even Crappier, he possesses the devastating ability to shoot lasers out of his eyes! For this reason he is called LaserEyes. Er, The Blinkinator. Maybe Cyclops from X-Men. No, it was Firehead! He’s called Firehead, since he can shoot fire lasers from his head eyes.

Who’s the most suitable man to track down Firehead and ensure that he doesn’t go on a rampage? Did you say Chris Lemmon, son of screen legend Jack? Of course you didn't. Did you know he existed? Well, have you ever seen someone really commit themselves to a terrible Jack Lemmon impression? Right, of course you haven’t. But take our word for it, Chris makes a strong case that the true villain of this movie is Hollywood Nepotism.

Actually, the real villain is a shadowy organization known as The Upper Order, which plots the beginning of World War III from a rented conference room at the airport Ramada. They are led by another legend, Oscar winner Christopher Plummer, who was having so much fun that he brought along fellow Oscar winner Martin Landau. Rumor has it they almost convinced Orson Welles to come along too, but he wanted to spend his twilight years pursuing dignified, artistHAHA! We almost made it through that sentence!

Join Mike, Kevin and Bill, all Estonian defectors themselves, as they riff LaserEy Firehead!

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Poster art by Jason Martian
Poster art by Jason Martian

RiffMeter rating

Average: 8.7 (253 votes)

Content Rating


Movie Decade

Movie Decade

Release date

June 13, 2013


80 minutes
Captions (Streaming Video)