Ladyhawke (with Cole Stratton and Janet Varney)
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Hawk by day. Wolf by Night. Screenplay by committee.
Richard “Goonies” Donner helmed this mess of an ‘80s fantasy film starring Matthew Broderick (Ferris Bueller-ing his way through medieval times with a Yonkers accent) as a young thief who aids cursed lovers Michelle Pfeiffer (just a few years away from sitting on chairs backwards in Dangerous Minds) and Rutger Hauer (acting the minimum required from a replicant).
Add Alfred “Doc Ock” Molina as a creepy hunter, John Wood as a Bishop about as lifelike as a PEZ dispenser, and Leo McKern as a monk with an ASMR breathing problem and you’ve got a movie that can only be described as “a backdrop for a bizarre synth soundtrack by Alan Parsons pressing 'Demo' on a Casio keyboard.”
Janet Varney (“The Legend of Korra”) and Cole Stratton (The Legend of Billie Jean - he watched it once) battle their way back into the RiffTrax booth after a long hiatus to poke affectionate fun at another mid-80s gem.
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Just the Jokes are simply MP3 files which are DRM free and can be enjoyed on any device that can play this common audio format.