It was the best of times, it was the worst of... hang on, I think I got the wrong write-up here. Ah, here it is...
The world of Krull is under siege by an evil alien monster and his pointy minions. The only hope lies in the hands of Colwyn, once prince and now king of Krull, who must find a mystical weapon that can help him defeat the guy in the ugly rubber suit, and free his captured bride-to-be, Lyssa. Naturally, this involves loads of horseback riding, some climbing, random accents, and lots of poorly choreographed fight sequences.
But have no fear, as I'll be here to help ease your boredom with the whole affair, and together we'll see to it that good things defeat bad things, and that happy fluffy things live happily fluffily ever after. Or some crap like that.
