The Singing Ringing Tree

Kids love whimsical fairytales, and there were few places more whimsical than East Germany. It was practically Disney World! Sure, instead of waiting in line for Space Mountain, you were waiting in line for bread. And instead of a hint of pixie dust in the air, it was some sort of experimental steroid that they injected their Olympic athletes with against their will. Two of Donald Duck’s nephews disappeared in the middle of the night and were never heard from again. But those wacky Iron Curtainers sure knew how to make a disturbing children’s movie!

A handsome prince has come to ask for the hand of a princess. Turns out she needs both of them, but she does agree to marry him — if he can bring her The Singing Ringing Tree. Trees rarely "ring" these days, but back in East Germany, you couldn’t walk down the block without hearing a tree ring. It was really the worst thing about the place!

The Singing Ringing Tree is, we’ll be honest, a real piece of crap. Not worth the journey at all, and that’s before people start getting turned into bears, and hags, and enormous paper-mâché fish. All of these transformations are pulled off with the skill and tact of a high school drama department who have been told they will be sent to the gulag if their production of Auntie Mame doesn’t go off without a hitch.

Instead of dubbing, the whole movie employs the unconventional technique of just letting a narrator blather over everyone’s dialogue. It’s not a very good decision, but The Singing Ringing Tree is not a very good movie. Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for some old-fashioned cold war whimsy, The Singing Ringing Tree!

Written by: Mike Nelson, Conor Lastowka, Sean Thomason, Jason Miller, and Zachary Shatzer