Maneater of Hydra

Maneater of Hydra begins with an absurd premise: that people walking around an Italian seaside town will happily get in a car with a complete stranger in order to go on a “tour” that requires them to hop on a boat and spend the night on a remote island. Then the plot gets a bit more down-to-earth and realistic when the man-eating plants show up.

The tour gets off to a rocky start when the driver hits and kills an elderly man, causing the tour group to experience approximately three seconds of anguish. They eventually arrive at the castle of a reclusive baron played by Cameron Mitchell (Death of a Salesman, How to Marry a Millionaire, 60% of the RiffTrax catalog). The baron has done exactly what you’d expect a rich, eccentric guy to do while all alone in his castle: he’s bred cucumbers that taste like steak. Sounds kind of stupid, but his initial IPO is expected to raise 2.3 trillion dollars. Suck on that, Gregor Mendel!

Many people would have been happy if he instead invented a pickle that didn’t leak brine every time you opened the damn container (Looking squarely at you, GRILLOS!) But it’s not just beefy pickles he’s created. He’s also bred plants that eat people, and that’s where his guests start to quibble with his hospitality. It’s one thing if your Airbnb host makes you start the dishwasher before you leave, it’s a whole different ballgame if the pachysandra in the courtyard starts to ingest your foot while you’re doing it.

Join the tour with Mike, Kevin, Bill, and a Joe Pye Weed that is for some reason wearing a bib with a picture of you on it and keeps licking its lips for Maneater of Hydra!

Written by: Mike Nelson, Conor Lastowka, Sean Thomason, Jason Miller, and Zachary Shatzer