Monster from Green Hell

A monster is terrorizing Africa. It’s a pretty big continent, but that’s about as specific as you’ll get, we’re afraid. The monster is from a region known as Green Hell, but as The Guy From Harlem taught us, that’s just where it is from. He could presently be anywhere. And where he is is: Africa.

Fortunately, there are some American scientists who are uniquely qualified to handle this situation. You see, they have shot a guinea pig and some sort of crab into space. So when Africa comes calling, they pack up their high tech gear (we dunno, Crab Rockets or something) and head to the precise location of Africa to start fighting monsters.

This involves quite a bit of walking. Turns out when all you get is a telegram saying “Trouble in Green Hell, meet up in Africa” there’s still a bit of ground to cover once you get there. The scientists come up with a brilliant idea to address this, namely “passing out and letting other people carry them.” Hey, once you’ve also shot a medium-sized rodent into space, you can criticize their methods!

We’re told the monster is a giant wasp. It bears no resemblance to a traditional wasp, but maybe it’s like one of those red pandas. Look, again, we’ve never operated a Crab Rocket. But the true message of the movie is that it turns out the wasps were not the real monster. This isn’t some crap like “the real monster was us all along,” no the real monster is the horrible buzzing sound effect that plays any time the monster is within forty miles of the main characters. It is enough to drive you mad. Maybe that’s why those crabs volunteered to go to space.

Book your ticket to Africa and join Mike, Kevin, and Bill in warding off the Monster From Green Hell!

Written by: Mike Nelson, Conor Lastowka, Sean Thomason, Jason Miller, and Zachary Shatzer