In the Claws of the CIA

We’ve dealt with plenty of incomprehensible plots over the years. But here, at last, with In the Claws of the CIA, we have a film with logic so broken it finally drove Mike Nelson insane. Please enjoy these excerpts from Mike’s questions as we worked on this movie. There are some spoilers, but don’t worry, you can’t really spoil a story that’s impossible to follow.

“Question: The CIA Double Secret School that our hero runs is in Spain, yes? But when he asks his girlfriend if he has to stay, she says he does but says, "I shouldn't be telling you this, but we're very close to the Mexican border." Huh? What am I missing?”

“I'm deeply confused, can anyone help? The woman on the boat (ie, "his girlfriend”) gets killed by a speargun, so he goes to Paris, works out near the Eiffel tower and is followed by the CIA who say, "He's picking up his girlfriend's kid, they're going to his new school." Cut to him with a little girl. But then she calls him "Uncle John." Then, less than a minute later he meets HIS GIRLFRIEND AND A LITTLE KID. Then he's in bed with a different woman?????? What in the name of hell is going on?????? When did he get a girlfriend in Paris?? Who's the little girl? Is it his niece?” 

Please trust that these excerpts represent a mere fraction of our communication trying to understand this movie.

Despite all that, In the Claws of the CIA is surprisingly fun to watch! It’s an international martial arts government assassin type situation that really keeps you guessing. Specifically it keeps you guessing about things like “Who is that, why are they fighting” and “Wait, there’s a twin? Why?” and “Where are we in space in time? Why would someone do this to us??”

Fun game: keep an eye out for the photo of LBJ that appears on many different walls, despite the fact that most historians agree LBJ was no longer president in 1981.

Give up on logic and join Mike, Kevin and Bill for the globe-trotting romp that is In the Claws of the CIA!

Written by: Mike Nelson, Conor Lastowka, Sean Thomason, Jason Miller, and Zachary Shatzer