The early '90s were the peak of Ninjamania!
Every demographic got their own ninja movie: Turtles. Surfers. Three. After that, Hollywood pretty much ran out of ideas. But then they found an obscure, underrepresented group and decided to film a concept so preposterous it might as well qualify it as sci-fi: girl ninjas!
It was, of course, a massive failure. Which makes it perfect for us!
Stop us if you’ve heard this one before: the local dojo has to raise some money by the end of the month or else an evil rich guy is going to bulldoze it and put up a pollution factory. What he didn’t count on was the Black Belt Angels, a team of four, and oftentimes - when one member was clearly not allowed to miss school to shoot a direct-to-video movie - three girl martial arts experts.
Several of them are related to the sensei of the dojo, who is under investigation by Child Protective Services. He explains everything by saying he has severe PTSD from ‘Nam, which not only makes the investigator immediately drop the charges, but she also starts dating him. Complicating the ethical matter is the fact that her brother died in ‘Nam saving the sensei. If this all sounds a little heavy for a kid’s movie, it is! But soon there will be idiots in backwards caps rollerblading with Super Soakers, so it all evens out.
It’s so 90s that you’ll half expect Jonathan Taylor Thomas to start dancing to Color Me Badd while wearing a San Jose Sharks Starter jacket. Join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for Black Belt Angels!
Written by: Mike Nelson, Conor Lastowka, Sean Thomason, Jason Miller, & Zachary Shatzer
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