The results are in! Based on hundreds of thousands of votes all over the globe, we've tallied up the results and are pleased to present to you the Top 10 Worst Movies of 2014, according to YOU, the RiffTrax fans!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Finally, advances in CGI technology and film wizardry are able to create a Megan Fox so lifelike you’d swear she was actually human.
Transformers: Age of Extinction
If you’d like the experience of seeing this movie but prefer not to give any portion of your income to Michael Bay, just have a screaming lunatic beat you into unconsciousness with small engine parts.
Dumb and Dumber To
The pompous speech-giving anchorman from HBO’s The Newsroom falls back into the dimensional portal he escaped through years ago, and is sucked back into his former parallel-universe life: Jim Carrey’s low-IQ sidekick with constant explosive diarrhea. They wear wigs too!
A Million Ways to Die in the West
Seth MacFarlane’s relentless juggernaut of pop culture dominance is delayed oh-so-briefly by a movie that pretty much died, in the West and elsewhere. A Millions Ways to Die in the West II: The Quickening will NOT make the mistake of omitting a drunken, lecherous teddy bear. For a li’l change of pace, Liam Neeson plays a guy who is good with guns.
Left Behind
Unjustly derided by critics upon its release, Left Behind is one of the all time greatest films that people did not watch but still rated one star on IMDB, asked us to riff, then promptly forget about. Nicolas Cage reprises his role as Jack Left for the third movie in the trilogy after the equally derided Left Ahead and Left In The Middle. Chad Michael Murray co-stars as “No, I wasn’t the third son on Home Improvement. Yes, I’m sure.”
The Amazing Spider-Man 2
A thrilling summer popcorn flick that critics have described as “performing satisfactorily in overseas markets” and “providing an adequate return on investment firms’ money.” This year, the catchphrase on everyone’s lips was “Huh...Guess they made another one...” when they saw that boxes of Frosted Flakes came with a free Spider-Man yoyo.
Sex Tape
An adorable suburban couple try to revive their romance by making a video of themselves having sex, because that always works. They manage to shoot eleven different angles of themselves from a single iPad. But oh no, their sex video got up on the cloud and now they can’t get it down! What are they gonna do?! Surprisingly little happens. Features eleven thousand Apple products and a dog getting injured.
Ouija
According to Rotten Tomatoes, Ouija was “definitely a movie” that “came out in theaters” and “not just something you guys made up to mess with us.” Hey, why not take a minor prop used in dozens of B movies and make that prop the whole movie? Only the spirits know the answer.
Noah
How do you zazz up the most cataclysmic story in the bible? Easy! Add fallen angels who become battlin’ rock monsters! It’s a knock-down drag out stone-fisted Genesis Retcon, and this time it’s heretical. Starring Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Green Alligators, Long-Neck Geese, Humpty-back Camels and some Chimpanzees.
300: Rise of an Empire
Finally, a 300 prequel to answer the question: what happened to all the shirts? Favorite scene: when all the guys start chanting “THIS IS SPARTA!!...WELL IT ISN’T QUITE SPARTA YET, BUT IT’S WELL ON ITS WAY TO BECOMING SPARTA, LOOK WE’RE DOING OUR BEST, OKAY?”