|Commentary Track ($3.99)|
RiffMeter (106 votes)
For some reason, San Francisco has become the go-to location for hack directors to set their abysmal movies. The mere sight of the Golden Gate Bridge or Lombard Street are enough to trigger unpleasant memories of Tommy Wiseau's ass. And as if to prove that the city's unique charms were no fluke, James Ngyuen broke out the coat hangers and did him one better with Birdemic.
But we venture to say that with X-Men:The Last Stand, director Brett Ratner has outdone both of those movies in terms of resources squandered and the resulting tonnage of raw suckitude.
For while The Room gave us endless catchphrases, breast cancer scares and Chris-R, and Birdemic delighted us with Hangin' Out With My Family, bark beetles and solrpnls, X-Men 3 only offers up the ridiculous sight of Kelsey Grammer in bright blue fur as a means of easing the pain of cliché ridden dialogue, disinterested performances and Vinnie Jones.
Mike, Kevin and Bill were extremely disappointed to learn that X-Men:The Last Stand even lies with its name, as the franchise continues to stand to this day, despite repeated requests at ever escalating volumes to please, PLEASE, in the name of all that is holy, take a seat!