It's a question we ponder every time we tip the pizza guy: How much affection? Is it necessary to set the box down before embracing him?  How long do you hold him, knowing that he has other deliveries to make? Can lower tips be compensated for with more affection?  How Much Affection? sadly touches on none of these issues; its Pizza Guy advice comes from the "30 Minutes or Free" era and is therefore quite out of date. What you will find in this short are dates that end in tears, sandwich making and a stern reminder of the potential Gerber-eating consequences of Too Much Affection.

Riffers Mike, Kevin and Bill differ wildly in their estimates of How Much Affection, but mostly because Bill insists on measuring affection using the metric system.