Summer is over—time to get back to evil school with Harry, Hermione, Ron, Sirius Black, Mrs. McGonagall, Filch, Splat, Wang, Timothy Q. Diaperhat, Professor Waddle Von Funkenskull, The Right Reverend Boo Smoothandle, Dr. and Mrs. Walrus V. Chowderboot and all the rest! This time around (the 6th, if we're not mistaken) Harry must battle an ancient curse and the desire to play Quidditch for three quarters of the film. Ron, in the meantime, discovers that his face is capable of hideous contortions as yet unexplored, Dumbledore awakes to find that he's gained a good deal of weight, and respected actress Emma Thompson sets out to prove that the respect is wholly misplaced.

Thankfully, this movie has been certified 100 percent Dobby-free!

Mike, Kevin and Bill wave their wands at the screen—and the result is magiclarious!*

*We think that means magic and hilarious, but our research team is still working on it.