Most film adaptations of comic books skimp on the amount of fantastic-ness, offering at best one or perhaps two units of fantastic-osity.

Not Fantastic Four! It goes the extra mile by providing THREE (3) fantastic characters (plus a bonus character who's not so much fantastic as he is a fantastic irritant, in the spirit of battery acid on the skin or airplane glue in the eyes.)

Plus, Fantastic Four gives you a villain who looks and acts as though he were carved out of large log of congealed tallow! And while other movies might cast Jessica Alba in a lead role and then task her with giving a performance, Fantastic Four plays to her strengths by avoiding any performance at all and instead merely parades her around in a tighter-than-skin Spandex suit.

Featuring eye-popping special effects and a collection of words written down and then spoken by the actors (it would be a wild exaggeration to refer to it as a "script"), Fantastic Four gets a fantastic four star rating* from Mike and expert riffer Kevin Murphy.

*Out of ten possible.