1988 / DIR BY ROGER DONALDSON / STARRING TOM CRUISE
RIFFED BY: MIKE NELSON (August 29, 2006)
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A drunken Australian councils a young Tom Cruise on life, love, and female undergarments. Tom and Nicole's wedding night? No, this is the thrilling plot of Cocktail, starring Cruise, Bryan Brown, Kelly "Road House" Lynch and Gina "Showgirls" Gershon.

When young Brian Flanagan (Cruise) is discharged from the Army and quickly discovers that he has few job prospects, scant talent, and no discernible intelligence, he exercises his only real option and gets a job at a TGI Fridays, whipping around bottles of Blue Curacao and serving deep-fried broccoli balls to people wearing suspenders.

When Coughlin betrays his partner, Brian flees to Jamaica, puts on a cheap, Qiana jungle print shirt and resumes his half-baked act there, soon bedding down the improbably named Jordan Mooney (Shue). Coughlin follows him to Jamaica. Can they rekindle their friendship? Will they reform their circus/bartender act? Will they get a job together tossing chicken strips around at a Carl's Jr.?