By now, everyone knows the story of how Avatar single-handedly changed moviemaking forever. Its visionary director (whose name escapes us, you know the one, he's that guy who didn't win an Oscar this year) proved that progressive films can succeed in today's marketplace. As long as progressive means "completely unoriginal and devoid of depth" and the high praise heaped upon the work is entirely based upon it being nice to look at. In this sense, Megan Fox is a progressive actress, and The Hills was the most important television show of the last 10 years. It is truly a bold, experimental piece of work, keeping in mind that crystal meth and fat substitute Olestra (which brought the phrase "anal leakage" into our lexicon) were also the results of experimentation.
For those of you who haven't seen it (*cricket cricket*), Avatar is the story of just how pretty a jungle planet can look in 3D, and maybe there are some people fighting in it or whatever. It's also a great refresher on some of your favorite 90s action movie dialogue clichés.
Mike, Kevin, and Bill implore you to "GO GO GO!" and "MOVE MOVE MOVE!" lest you be "s*** out dead without warning" before enjoying Avatar!