Laser Mission

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RiffMeter (197 votes)

Sure, sure, we know what you’re thinking. "Laser Mission? What kind of a thing is that to make a movie about? Everybody’s been on a laser mission, heck I did three-and-a-half laser missions on my way to pick up some eggs this morning.” Just trust us when we tell you, this one is special. First: unlike lesser laser missions, Laser Mission features exactly 0 lasers, and exactly 1 Ernest Borgnine! Nothing says “action” like Borgnine! (No, really, he says the word “action” in a funny accent.) Second: if most laser missions were to include a theme song that repeats on a seemingly endless loop, that theme song would probably contain the words “laser” or “mission.” Not Laser Mission! No, instead you’ll be treated to “Mercenary Man”, a little ditty cooked up by David Knopfler (the junior Knopfler of Dire Straits), over, and over, and over again. And, in the role of the Mercenary Man, none other than Brandon Lee of The Crow fame! It just doesn’t get more laser-ish or mission-esque than this!

Mike, Kevin, and Bill came to violence deciding who would get to use “Mercenary Man” as their personal ringtone, but they all agree you really oughtta check out Laser Mission!*

*and before you do, it may be a good idea to watch this classic Ernest Borgnine interview clip, which just might come up, “a lot.”

Download and Stream file formats

Download to Burn (.iso) (4.04 GB)
DivX (799.96 MB)
High Quality (MPEG-2) (4.02 GB)
Windows Media (687.02 MB)
mp4 (mobile devices) (353.75 MB)
High-resolution mp4 (iPad, etc.) (815.99 MB)
Commentary (mp3) (58.09 MB)
Source audio (mp3) (77.05 MB)

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Release date

October 4, 2011


84 minutes

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