See RiffTrax LIVE and in-person at the State Theatre in Minneapolis! Tickets for RiffTrax Live: Point Break are on sale now!

RiffTrax Presents: Horror Express (by Matthew J. Elliott)

Please choose a format above.

The Deadly Mantis showed us that the life of a palaeontologist is one of intrigue, romance, and unstoppable monsters. Horror Express does nothing to dispel this notion, so that presumably means it can only be true.

Here, Christopher Lee plays Professor Alexander Saxton who, never having been told by his mother that he shouldn’t play with dead things, unearths a frozen ape man in Manchuria because…well, what else is there to do in Manchuria?

En route to Moscow by train, the ape man comes back to life, and starts killing off passengers, all the while whistling a haunting tune, in spite of the fact that he doesn’t have any lips. Oh, and Peter Cushing is on the train, too. And Telly Savalas shows up, presumably in order to pay off a gambling debt.

Nowadays, there are really only two things to be concerned about when traveling by train: lateness, and sitting too close to the stubbly guy who smells like urine and crazy. Compare that with two movie legends, a homicidal caveman and a bat-poopy insane Telly Savalas, and you'll see that the Horror Express is a ninety-minute ride not to be missed.

Digital Video file formats

DivX (989.81 MB)
DVD Video (MPEG-2) (3.45 GB)
mp4 for mobile devices (693.92 MB)
mp4 for Tablets and TVs (999.65 MB)
Download to Burn (3.95 GB)

All digital products you purchase from are DRM-free, can be played across a large variety of devices, and are yours to keep ... forever! Even if you have a hard drive meltdown, you can always log back into the site and re-download all of your previous purchases.

For our Download and Stream products, you can stream the product to your computer or to your TV via Chromecast, or download to a device that can play the MP4 file format. For more information on our video formats, please see this KB article.

Just the Jokes are simply MP3 files which are DRM free and can be enjoyed on any device that can play this common audio format.

Poster art by Jason Martian
Poster art by Jason Martian

RiffMeter rating

Average: 7.7 (151 votes)

Content Rating



Movie Decade

Movie Decade

Riffed By

Release date

March 28, 2013


88 minutes