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Jurassic Park III

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Three is the magic number—Three Musketeers, Three Blind Mice, three trained marksmen stationed at different points in Dealey Plaza.* Jurassic Park III follows the great tradition of movie trilogies where the person or persons responsible for the success of the first two decided to do something else while they still had a career, leaving whoever happened to be available at the time to finish the job—for further examples, see The Mummy, Scream and The X-Men series.

British guy Matthew J Elliott wishes the world at large to know that, in preparing this commentary (the first in history to mention vajazzling.**), he agonized over every single riff. Now it's your turn.

*As outlined in my forthcoming book, How Elvis Killed JFK—check Amazon for further details, unless it's suppressed by Government Forces or poor advance sales

**At least, I assume so. Hell, I can't watch 'em all. Maybe there's something about it in Casablanca or The Star Wars Holiday Special. But I sure as hell hope not.

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Poster art by Jason Martian
Poster art by Jason Martian

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Average: 7.2 (68 votes)

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Release date

April 15, 2011