The stars and writers of Mystery Science Theater 3000 have carried our bad movie passion/fixation/incurable mental condition forward at RiffTrax.com. You spend enough time with bad movies, you’re gonna wind up arguing over which ones are truly the worst. Rather than fight it out tooth-and-nail among ourselves, risking possible tooth injury or even nail damage, we put the question to our fans. A record-setting 500,000 votes later, we’ve got the list. RiffTrax's first annual Worst Movies of All Time list. After 500,000 votes, This is it. No more fighting. Because nobody fights about lists on the internet, right? Right??
Many thanks to the fine folks at IGN for helping us get this baby off the ground!
It’s a traditional holiday tale - a sweaty revolting Santa gets his sled stuck on a Florida beach, kids try to help him with barnyard animals and a guy in a gorilla suit, he tells the story of Thumbelina, and eventually there’s an Ice Cream Bunny. Pure dementia. Don’t miss it.
RiffTrax took on Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny as a VOD!
Nicolas Cage dons a bear suit and punches ladies left and right in Neil LaBute's elegy to his own abject terror of women. It's a chilling vision of a world in which women, left to their own devices, sacrifice men in elaborate pageants to insure we'll always have honey on our breakfast table. A movie that's sure to fuel one of our culture's most heated debates: "wait, is honey a vegan food or not?"
When most of your cast has the word “former” appended to their description, it’s not a good sign for your movie. Ed Wood assembled former pro wrestler Tor Johnson, former
midnight movie host Vampira and former living person Bela Lugosi for his opus. Coasting mostly on reputation at this point, Plan 9
is as watchable a movie as any on this list, but it will forever be a benchmark for movie badness.Plan 9 was riffed by the MST3K guys in theaters nationwide! Watch it here.
22. Battleship (7,942 votes)
An alien race threatens to conquer earth by challenging humankind to play the cheap plastic board game that's
easy to cheat at. Only this time, it's played with real battleships. Real, digitally composited battleships. It's the latest toy-based offering from the company that brought us ciematic gems like G.I. Joe, Transformers and soon, Candyland. We won't be satisfied until Jeremy Renner stars in the gripping adaptation of Mr. Potatohead.
Many years ago the people of El Paso, Texas gave their money to a local fertilizer salesman and said, “Go make us the best horror movie you can make.” This is an object lesson in why you should never give your money to an El Paso fertilizer salesman."Manos" Live Show is now available to own as a VOD! Click here for details
The Autotunes learn of a Cryptonomicon spaceship buried on the moon and must race the evil Dispepticons to recover it before Laserdick and his robotnicks... Hell, I don't know, I can't even tell which gravelly-voiced toy is talking at any given moment. Shia La Boeuf tries to save the world by screaming like a laboratory chimp, giving us such memorable lines as, "AAAAAUUUGH! AAAAAAAAUGH!" and "Nonononononononono!" We think our commentary helps
19. Eragon (8,272 votes)
Typo of “Dragon?” After all, the D and E keys are right next to each other, so maybe it’s a -- no? You really
meant to type “Eragon,” huh? [Pssst, reader: we are addressing Christopher Paolini, the author of Eragon
, the book this movie was based on. He wrote it when he was a teenager, and it shows. The story is very derivative of writers who are themselves derivative of writers who are derivative of Tolkien, and yep, it has a Dragon in it. Dragon, with a D.] ...Anyway, good for you, kid! Work ethic and all that, getting published so young. Bravo. [Pssst: the book isn’t that good. But the movie’s even worse.
It’s a real erag. Heh heh.]
The world is plagued by a mysterious virus that causes people to kill themselves in the silliest ways available to them. The only way to survive is to follow Mark "Emark" Wahlberg, lemur-eyed Zooey Deschanel and the inexplicably successful John Leguizamo. Okay, following them actually guarantees that you'll die. Never before has a movie that's meant to terrify us lightened our hearts with so much laughter. Thank you, M Night Shyamalan, for bringing us Lawn Mower Suicide Man, Lemon Drink Lady and Hot Dog Guy. Thank you so very much. We mean it.
17. The Room (8,918 votes)
One of the greatest moments in RiffTrax history was when Tommy Wiseau called our office to threaten to sue us for releasing an MP3 of us talking about his movie
. Over the course of the lengthy phone call, we all gathered around the speakerphone, attempting to stifle our laughter as his rambling, incoherent threats spiraled out of control. It is stunning that a man with such a limited grasp on human behavior/language was able to complete a film. It is not stunning at all that The Room is what he eventually produced. Tommy got the last laugh though: we’ve all seen his ass
It's the powerful final chapter in the X-Men
saga! Up to a point! We'll probably reboot the whole damn thing before this movie even ends! All your favorites are here! Magneto! Cerebro! Placebo! Big Blue Furry Kelsey Grammer! Wolverine and Whoever the Hell Anna Paquin is! Amazing Little Bald Kid! Naked Model Lady! Jeanne! And everyone's favorite, Juggernaut Bitch! It's the Last Stand! For now!
We gave The Last Stand the old RiffTrax Treatment, too. Click here!
After nearly 20 years, Indiana Jones is back on the job! And senior citizen abuse ensues. It’s not so much that our beloved Indy is too old for the job this time -- though let’s be clear, HE DEFINITELY IS -- it’s that the script is such a careless sludge of ideas, and so relentlessly dopey. E.g.: Indy survives a direct nuclear blast by hiding inside a refrigerator! Also, Shia LaBeouf and aliens, kinda! An epic mess, starring an old guy who looks like he’s struggling with a hernia throughout
14. Troll 2 (10,384 votes)
is the Godfather 3
of the once proud Troll
franchise. Troll 2
makes you appreciate how good other bad movies are. Troll 2
has a puppet that looks like Larry David that is probably the most handsome actor in the movie. Troll 2
features the best Urinating on a Banquet scene since Meryl Streep in Doubt. Troll 2
does not feature a single Troll. Troll 2
inspired a documentary called “Best Worst Movie” and while the accuracy of the title is debatable, few would argue that it belongs in the conversation. Mike Nelson and Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka teamed up to riff this one a while back.
The most positive thing we can say about Episode 1 is that at least it was released in 1999. If it came out today, fan reaction would probably melt the internet. By this point, you have to assume that anyone who claims the film is “really not that bad” is doing so to get a reaction and anyone who says they actually like it is full out trolling. As the limited edition Mountain Dew cans and inflatable Darth Maul chairs fade further and further into the distance, all we’re left with are the wooden performances, slow pace, discussions about embargoes, been there/done that CGI and Jar Jar
’s tongue. Yippee.
Take one Vietnamese immigrant software salesman and ask him to remake Alfred Hitchcock’s timeless classic The Birds, but have him do it without a budget, talent, ability, sets, talent, a decent cast, talent or talent and this is exactly what you’d get. The scene where our heroes fend off the birds with hotel hangers is a classic of the genre (the genre being jaw-droppingly awful Hitchcock homages.)
Hey, imagine if there was a musical about a high school? A musical about a high school putting on a musical, at a high school? With music?! ...Starting to feel claustrophobic and weird? Welcome to High School Musical. This hermetically-sealed, cutsie-pie universe -- where Disney boy-baby Zac Efron is a star basketball player and everyone but everyone wants to be in musicals -- is not for you unless you really love high school, really love musicals (and we’re talking generic Disney pop tunes, not Sondheim), and are between ages 12 and 12.5.