RiffMeter (24 votes)
It’s the sunniest Night Before Christmas yet. Not a creature is stirring, not even the stuffed, mummified mouse that’s lovingly stapled to the floor. Sugarplums dance in the heads of children, causing the children to wonder, what’s a sugarplum, and why would it dance so suggestively? At the heart of it all is a man with one simple goal—a long winter’s nap, uninterrupted by any sort of clatter. Boy is he in for a surprise!
Hold on to your stocking cap (or, as we know them today, sleeping hat) and prepare for a holiday home invasion the likes of which you’ve never seen. Unwantable toys will be given, boys will wear dresses, and the reindeer will test all limits of tiny-ness! It’s a story as fresh and timeless as that 4th of July egg salad you’ve been meaning to take out of the trunk. So check out The Night Before Christmas now, before Disney adapts this half-page poem into a 4-hour epic next year.