RiffMeter (192 votes)
Featuring half-man/half-jaw actor Miguel Fuentes, a.k.a. the Aztec from The Pumaman!
There are lots of theories about why ships disappear in the Bermuda Triangle. Some blame magnetic anomalies affecting navigation. Some cite alien abduction. Others point out that it’s actually just a huge amount of ocean, and of course you’re going to lose some ships out there, you nitwits. But the makers of The Bermuda Triangle have their own fresh theory, and it all comes down to something NEVER BEFORE SEEN IN A HORROR MOVIE -- a creepy doll, telling a creepy little girl to kill her family. But this time, it’s on a boat. A BOOOOOAT!!!
A hilariously dubbed Italian-Mexican joint production, The Bermuda Triangle is low on logic and high on ridiculous old-fashioned racism. A family sets out to find Atlantis with a crew of stereotypes, including a black cook character that would embarrass Amos and Andy. Heading the family? None other than legendary actor and director JOHN freaking HUSTON, in a role that one can only imagine he took in order to spend time near the ship’s other most notable passenger, A REALLY HOT WOMAN IN A BIKINI.
Will they find Atlantis before they’re all dead? Will anyone on board even seem aware they’re looking for Atlantis? Find out by disappearing into The Bermuda Triangle with Mike, Kevin, and Bill! (and, y’know, also that bikini woman we mentioned)