Catalog » Short

ShyGuyPoster.jpg
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Shyness—for years it has prevented boys from becoming men and girls from landing men. How can shyness be conquered? By imitating those who are better than you: the popular children. This is the advice that the New Kid in School receives from his father: alter who you are to make people who...
Average: 4.5 (74 votes)
Jan 6 2009
ChristmasToyShop.jpg
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Can't anyone tell me what Christmas is all about!? an exasperated Charlie Brown once asked. Well, pace Linus van Pelt, the true meaning of Christmas—according to Christmas Toyshop—is a criminally incompetent father, a drug-dispensing demon of the night, and a bored and...
Average: 4.6 (78 votes)
Dec 22 2008
KnowforSurePoster.jpg
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You think you don't have syphilis, but how do really know? Has anyone you trust told you you don't have it? Have you been in contact with anyone from a big city in, say, the last year? Then you almost certainly have it! Talk to your doctor immediately, or at the very least, a silver-haired...
Average: 4.5 (74 votes)
Nov 21 2008
EatingHabitsPoster.jpg
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For many of us, Good Eating Habits boil down to a simple rule: avoid any food whose name ends in "-ator" or "-o-rama". But fifty years ago, in an era food historians refer to as "Pre GoGurt", what constituted a Good Eating Habit wasn't as widely known. Was cleaning...
Average: 4.6 (79 votes)
Oct 31 2008
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Washing your hands after using the restroom - most of us only do so because a fellow co-worker is in the bathroom with us, and we wonder if he'll tell other people if we don't. But evidently, we should be doing this even when a co-worker isn't there. It's a "Good Health...
Average: 4.6 (56 votes)
Oct 24 2008
AquaFrolicsPoster.jpg
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If you were told you were about to see a film that contained turtles bigger than men, cliff-diving Mexicans and a family that eats Thanksgiving dinner underwater, you'd probably complain "But I don't like David Lynch!" Wrong you would be! You'd actually be all set to watch the...
Average: 4 (58 votes)
Sep 30 2008
Vandalism.jpg
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Why Vandalism?  It's the one question that kept parents in the fifties up at night.  Why would my boy turn to vandalism for thrills when they could be listening to Burl Ives 45s or campaigning for Adlai Stevenson?  While they were pondering this, their boys were out vandalizing...
Average: 4.1 (55 votes)
Jul 31 2008
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Years in the spotlight had left Kitty with fame, riches, and a drug habit to rival all but the Busey-ist of addicts.  Hooked on catnip, Kitty quickly found herself alone on the street, fishing quarters out of the gutter in hopes of landing her daily fix of The 'Nip.  It seemed as if she...
Average: 4.3 (66 votes)
Jul 29 2008
EachChildPoster.jpg
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“Each Child Is Different” goes the saying, and no truer words have ever been spoken. Take Miss Smith's fifth grade class for instance. While Elizabeth is withdrawn and silent because of parental neglect, Ruth is withdrawn and silent because her mother died soon after the birth of...
Average: 4.6 (76 votes)
Jul 25 2008
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Bill Duncan had it all until the day when he discovered that his garbage cans had been deemed unfit for use by the city sanitation committee.  The deep shame of this incident drove him into a spiral of despair and nearly claimed his life until he realized the great truth of suburban America:...
Average: 4.2 (69 votes)
Jul 22 2008
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Right or Wrong tells the gritty story of Harry, a boy who doesn't vandalize a warehouse and suffers the consequences for it.  Harry, who resembles a younger, less handsome French Stewart, undertakes a philosophical journey, where every character he meets routinely pauses mid-...
Average: 3.9 (55 votes)
Jul 15 2008
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Women - what the hell, man? I mean, what's your problem? Thankfully, for all of us non-women, some very smart people have put their best be-crew-cutted minds into coming up with a solution to the trouble with women (to avoid a conflict of interests, no women contributed, thank goodness). ...
Average: 4.5 (86 votes)
Jul 18 2008
BuyingFoodPoster.jpg
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Buying food - how hard can it be? You go to a store pick out a few items, and start mashing them into the side of your head, right? WRONG! That's a common misconception, but as Buying Food clearly demonstrates, buying food is a very, very dangerous and complicated affair, fraught with hazard, the...
Average: 4.7 (112 votes)
Jul 11 2008
SkipperPoster.jpg
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Snoopy, Lassie, Cerberus, Rin-Tin-Tin: lovable canine companions are a dime a dozen.  Which makes Skipper: The Racist Dog such a breath of fresh air!  Tired of "PC" dogs who "like" children and "accept" other mutts without passing judgment?  Well then,...
Average: 4.3 (72 votes)
Jul 8 2008
Patriotism.jpg
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When you hear the word "patriotism" what's the first name that pops into your head? Wrong! The answer is Bob Crane. And not "Hogan's Heroes" Bob Crane, but rather creepy, post-"Hogan's Heroes" Bob Crane, home video, um, "pioneer". There is no one...
Average: 4.2 (89 votes)
Jul 3 2008
DownAndOutPoster.jpg
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If you like your safety shorts served with a heavy dose of groovy, then this is for you! Down and Out lays out a litany of dangers inherent in your every move from one location to the other, no matter how small. Bone-shattering death awaits around every corner. Every surface, every object, every...
Average: 4.5 (71 votes)
Jul 1 2008
DrugsRlikeThat.jpg
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There are so many things to which drugs can be compared that to even attempt to catalog them would be an act of incomprehensible madness. Yet in this pastel colored, 1970's nightmare, two hard-of-hearing, loggorrheic pre-teens are up to the task! Have you always wondered, Are drugs like...
Average: 4.9 (264 votes)
Jun 17 2008
OneGotFatPoster.jpg
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  Do you find that you're sleeping a little too well as of late? That your dreams are of the innocuous stripe, i.e., old friends turning into llamas and eating your baseball hat, rather than full out, scream-yourself-awake nightmares followed by 15 minutes of sweating and shallow breathing...
Average: 4.7 (169 votes)
Apr 18 2008
Mirrors.jpg
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Cruel self-assessment is given a new twist as vulnerable grade-schoolers are forced to look into the deep blackness of their own souls only to reach the inevitable conclusion that they are unloved and they will spin out their meaningless years on this drifting rock before dying alone and afraid....
Average: 4.5 (105 votes)
Apr 11 2008
AreYouPopular.jpg
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It's time to face the question head on, to stop pretending that the crowds of people following you, jeering, throwing rocks and half-eaten burritos are there because of your charm and animal charisma. You've suspected it for some time, from the moment you were rejected by CompuServe because you...
Average: 4.4 (91 votes)
Apr 4 2008
Safety.jpg
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Your home is crawling with hazards! You are not safe! EVERYTHING WILL KILL YOU! In fact, never mind, because you're already dead; killed by your stupid house. That, at least, is the heartwarming message of the short Safety: Harm Hides at Home. "But RiffTrax," you say, "many shorts...
Average: 4.7 (155 votes)
Mar 28 2008
CoffeeRendezvous.jpg
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The youth of today, no longer content to roll a hoop with a stick, play endless hours of mumbly peg, or work a lathe at a factory 14 hours a day for just pennies, need something to occupy them. Crime sprees are not the whole answer. No, they need a place where they can rap, just let it all hang out...
Average: 4.4 (125 votes)
Mar 14 2008
ChickenPoster.jpg
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Why Doesn't Cathy Eat Breakfast? / Petaluma Chicken At long last, the question of the ages is met head on. No facet of the issue is left unexplored. The philosophical, eschatological, teleological, epistemological, and cosmological aspects are all given a thorough exegetical going over. Just...
Average: 4 (121 votes)
Mar 7 2008
TrbleTruth.jpg
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Heroin, it turns out, is bad. The Terrible Truth lays waste to the all-too-common myth that regular heroin use is a healthy part of a balanced diet. Professional scowler Judge William B. McKesson guides us through a case study of Phyllis Howard (no relation to Curly) who tries marijuana and quickly...
Average: 4.2 (90 votes)
Feb 28 2008
LunchroomManners.jpg
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Meet Phil. Like all children from the fifties, he enjoys playing ball, building soapbox racers, and taunting his non blond-haired, blue-eyed classmates. Things are going great for Phil until a puppet shows up in his class. The Puppet, Ichabod Dorian Bungle III, or "Mister" to his friends...
Average: 4.6 (125 votes)
Feb 22 2008
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