Free Samples

A Visit to Santa

torgosPizza — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 11:35:26 -0600

Just in time for the holidays, RiffTrax presents our take on A Visit to Santa, a Christmas short of unknown origin that most probably was the result of Santa's short-lived collaboration with the producing team of Screwtape and Wormwood. Rather than being a right jolly old elf, Santa here is depicted as the Dark Prince of a vast slave empire made up entirely of children under 10 - it's Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom with less dignified clothing. Or put another way it's Manos: The Hands of Fate without the elephantiasis.

Act Your Age

torgosPizza — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 15:55:30 -0600

Young Jim is caught in a shocking act of pencil-based vandalism, leading him to look deeply into the core of his soul and come to the inexorable conclusion that he is kind of a weenie. A classic of the late '40's, "authority figure shames a student" genre,

Act Your Age is a window into the soul... of Jim. And it makes a great RiffTrax!

Alien

marina — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 16:48:45 -0500

Hey you young whippersnappers -- you thought that "Alien" was just Predator's sparring partner, didn't you? Not so, Padawans. "Alien" (who, in a series of HUGE coincidences, happens to BE an alien, AND stars in the movie ALIEN! Weird!!) first took Hollywood by storm during the heady, Jimmy Carter-filled days of 1979....back when a long, long pan over a hot-glued spaceship miniature made the first generation of geeks wheeze in delight, and reach for their inhalers.

Aqua Frolics

marina — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 13:22:10 -0500

If you were told you were about to see a film that contained turtles bigger than men, cliff-diving Mexicans and a family that eats Thanksgiving dinner underwater, you'd probably complain "But I don't like David Lynch!" Wrong you would be! You'd actually be all set to watch the 100 percent Lynch-free Aqua Frolics, a short from the 1950's whose message is clear: here is a partial list of things you can do that involve a proximity to and/or immersion in water.

Are You Popular

marina — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 11:55:11 -0500

It's time to face the question head on, to stop pretending that the crowds of people following you, jeering, throwing rocks and half-eaten burritos are there because of your charm and animal charisma. You've suspected it for some time, from the moment you were rejected by CompuServe because you just weren't cool enough.

Batman Forever

torgosPizza — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 16:37:15 -0500

Have you ever worried that your favorite super hero might be nothing more than a passing fad? Well, Joel Schumacher is here to put your mind at ease with a film that he based on a slogan he once heard some kids shout after leaving Tim Burton's Batman film: Batman Forever*. A movie so terrible that we still don't understand why people were surprised at how bad Batman & Robin was.

Buying Food

marina — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 11:35:22 -0500

Buying food - how hard can it be? You go to a store pick out a few items, and start mashing them into the side of your head, right? WRONG! That's a common misconception, but as Buying Food clearly demonstrates, buying food is a very, very dangerous and complicated affair, fraught with hazard, the path to success Byzantine and arduous. To even attempt it without instruction is to court heartbreak and, most likely, violent death. Lucky for all of us there is Buying Food. Kevin, Mike, and Bill take it very seriously.

Carnival of Souls Three Riffer Edition

torgosPizza — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 12:36:56 -0600

Christmas Toyshop

torgosPizza — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 12:16:35 -0600

Can't anyone tell me what Christmas is all about!? an exasperated Charlie Brown once asked. Well, pace Linus van Pelt, the true meaning of Christmas—according to Christmas Toyshop—is a criminally incompetent father, a drug-dispensing demon of the night, and a bored and detached Santa who spins magic mushroom induced fables to two captive children.

Coffeehouse Rendezvous

torgosPizza — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 12:24:27 -0500

The youth of today, no longer content to roll a hoop with a stick, play endless hours of mumbly peg, or work a lathe at a factory 14 hours a day for just pennies, need something to occupy them. Crime sprees are not the whole answer. No, they need a place where they can rap, just let it all hang out, encounter one another, preferably over terrible boiled coffee. The short Coffeehouse Rendezvous makes a strong case that what these kids need is a coffeehouse rendezvous.

Mike, Kevin and Bill remain unconvinced.

Dark Water

torgosPizza — Mon, 05 May 2008 17:50:56 -0500

Water... the most dangerous of the elements. Except for fire. Or earth, if you happen to get caught in a landslide. Then, there's air, too. Remember that Gary Larson cartoon where some poor bastard is skydiving, pulls the ripcord and a grand piano comes out instead of a parachute? And let's not forget lightning. Actually, lightning might not be one of the elements. Let me check on Wikipedia and get back to you on that.

Die Hard

Admin — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 17:50:25 -0500

Only one film dared to confront the twin menaces facing America during the 1980s—terrorism and aggressive male-pattern baldness—and that film is Die Hard. So it's fortunate that I'm writing about that particular movie, or something would seem to have gone terribly, terribly wrong—like an emu wearing a Stetson, or anything involving Tom Green.

Dirty Dancing

marina — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:33:47 -0500