Just in time for the holidays, RiffTrax presents our take on A Visit to Santa, a Christmas short of unknown origin that most probably was the result of Santa's short-lived collaboration with the producing team of Screwtape and Wormwood. Rather than being a right jolly old elf, Santa here is depicted as the Dark Prince . . .

Hey you young whippersnappers -- you thought that "Alien" was just Predator's sparring partner, didn't you? Not so, Padawans.

It's time to face the question head on, to stop pretending that the crowds of people following you, jeering, throwing rocks and half-eaten burritos are there because of your charm and animal charisma.

Buying food - how hard can it be? You go to a store pick out a few items, and start mashing them into the side of your head, right? WRONG!  

Can't anyone tell me what Christmas is all about!? an exasperated Charlie Brown once asked. Well, pace Linus van Pelt, the true meaning of Christmas—according to Christmas Toyshop—is a criminally incompetent father, a drug-dispensing demon of the night, and a bored and detached Santa who spins magic mushroom induced fables to two captive children...

Water... the most dangerous of the elements. Except for fire. Or earth, if you happen to get caught in a landslide. Then, there's air, too. Remember that Gary Larson cartoon where some poor bastard is skydiving, pulls the ripcord and a grand piano comes out instead of a parachute?

There are so many things to which drugs can be compared that to even attempt to catalog them would be an act of incomprehensible madness.

Let’s hear it for the boy! What boy? Why, Ren McCormack (Kevin Bacon, at his Baconiest), an outspoken, rebellious lad with anger dancing issues and feathered hair that would make Sally Jessy Raphael jealous. The small town of Beaumont, Texas isn’t ready for his skinny tie ways—certainly not the tall, awkward town preacher Shaw Moore (played by John Lithgow, in a…tall and awkward performance), who spearheaded a law banning dancing after a fatal accident.

If messy wet clay and the brothers Everly are your idea of foreplay, look no further than this Jerry Zucker-directed (yes, THAT Jerry Zucker) surprise smash hit of 1990.

Test your credulity as our beloved Patrick Swayze trades in his dirty dancin' shoes and his blue collar bartending meat hooks to give a turn in the role he was destined to play: an intelligent, educated, high-powered account executive...

For many of us, Good Eating Habits boil down to a simple rule: avoid any food whose name ends in "-ator" or "-o-rama". But fifty years ago, in an era food historians refer to as "Pre GoGurt", what constituted a Good Eating Habit wasn't as widely known...