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RiffTrax by: MIKE NELSON, KEVIN MURPHY & BILL CORBETT
1978 / Directed by Randal Kleiser / Starring John Travolta
1978 / Directed by Randal Kleiser / Starring John Travolta
The past decade has not been kind to John Travolta. It began with Battlefield Earth, and ended with the movies about the middle-aged guys on motorcycles (Wild Hogs), the middle-aged adoptive fathers (Old Dogs), the middle-aged guy who found valuable dancing shoes (Gold Clogs), the middle-aged children's book author who runs at a medium pace (Roald Jogs), and the middle-aged guys who flip milk caps in a meat storage locker (Cold Pogs).
In honor of our new short, Things Are Different Now, we’d like to list some things that are different now. In 2004, Mel Gibson was featured in Time’s “Man of the Year” issue for the success and spiritual impact of his film The Passion of the Christ. Things are different now. In March 2010, you could take a swim in the Gulf of Mexico and emerge without looking like a cast member of The Jersey Shore. Things are different now.
You may think you know your Mealtime Manners, but much like the recent Kevorkian biopic that, despite starring Al Pacino, was sadly neither unintentionally hilarious nor full of rapid fluctuations in vocal volume, You Don't Know Jack!
Teaching kids about the evils of racism in a clear, culturally-sensitive manner is a difficult task. Fortunately for us, it’s something the makers of educational shorts from decades past were woefully inept at! Are People All the Same? takes an interesting approach. In order to illustrate that people are all fundamentally the same, they go to great lengths to help you differentiate people based on race.
The bartender says "I was talking to the duck!" And, so it was finished, before it had even begun. She was a dark and stormy dame. Really, that's a badger? "Over there, behind the fake tree," she said. The record scratched at midnight, as it always does.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is a terrible paragraph. If only it were possible to build a better one! But surely, a topic as pedantic and uninteresting as Building Better Paragraphs has never been covered by the dynamos at Coronet Films, has it?
For years, The Weather has been the go-to topic for nervously discussing with your co-workers whenever you end up sharing an elevator with them after you fail to see them pull into the parking lot at the same time as you, leaving you unable to adjust your route on the fly. "Some weather we're having" you'll say, and they will grunt their assent.
Meet Roy, elementary school student. Some children learn with more ease than others. Every child learns with more ease than Roy. He wants nothing from life except to be left alone: shy, silent, whittling off pieces of his desk in hopes that he’ll eventually find one that tastes good.
Includes a bonus track,"Ghan-Buri-Ghan" by the RiffTones!
Join the middle-aged drummer as this thrilling documentary follows his exploits during Rush’s 2009 Asian tour. Leaving in his wake several bottles of FiberCon, completely unnecessary drum kit pieces, and pulp 1950s Sci-Fi novels with highlighted passages marked “use for lyrics”, the man....what’s that? Oh, this isn’t Neil Peart of the Orient? My mistake.
Do you ever stop to reflect on what an ungrateful, useless little puke you were as a child? Like when your father came home after his 60 hour work week with the new lunchbox he thought you wanted, and you threw a red-faced tantrum because it was Go-Bots, not Transformers? Or the time your mother served the stuffed turkey she spent the whole day perfecting, and you flipped it on the floor, shrieking that you wanted McNuggets and didn't love her anymore?