"Seeing it ... made me feel helpless, humiliated and sad." A celebrity apologizing for their latest paparazzi shots? No, those are the words of Aeon Flux creator Peter Chung regarding the big screen adaptation of the TV show he created. Peter, Peter, Peter...Why the long face? You have it so good!

Crossroads. Battlefield Earth. A Visit to Santa. As if the RiffTrax audience hasn’t suffered enough, we put to them the extraordinarily challenge of writing us a script for what is universally considered to be the source of all evil and suffering in the world . . .

In the year 3000 man is an endangered species, enslaved, severely unshowered, beholden to a cruel alien race fond of dreadlocks and really impractical boots . . .

"What if a monster attacked a city?" This is the shockingly novel concept behind the viral marketing triumph of the year! Filled with "fresh"* performances and "authentic"** cinematography, Cloverfield masterfully takes a page from The Blair Witch Project...

When we heard that Korean studio Younggu-Art Movies was making a picture called Dragon Wars, we were both excited and disgusted at the same time. Excited because we have had many conversations about which Korean movie studio would direct our "dream" dragon movie, and the name Younggu-Art Movies just kept coming up. But we were also disgusted, because the movie title failed to provide its own abbreviation as part of the title.

Most film adaptations of comic books skimp on the amount of fantastic-ness, offering at best one or perhaps two units of fantastic-osity. . .

The Fantastic Four are back! Or the Fantastic Four is back! Depending upon whether one is referring to the title of the film, the four individuals who are fantastic and number four, or the group of four fantastic people who use that title! The point is, they're back! And this time, unlike the first, there's a surfer made out of silver and he rises! It's fantastic!

Imagine, just imagine, if ordinary citizens suddenly began to discover that they have acquired extraordinary powers. Why, you would have X-Men. But imagine if instead of acquiring X-Men-like powers . . .

Let's not get into the contentious issue of exactly who is Legend. R&B singer John Legend thinks he is Legend; the Tom Cruise movie Legend think it is Legend; "I Am" thinks it's Legend; and Matthew McConaughey is as certain that he is Legend as he is that his butt looks awesome in bike shorts. . .

In every single one of the 900 million aliens-come-to-earth movies that had come before it the aliens were malevolent, bent on man's destruction, but Independence Day changed all that. Yes, the alien's were once again malevolent, but this time Judd Hirsch was in the movie!