RiffMeter (50 votes)
Like Tarzan of the Jungle and Nanook of the North before him, Jimmy of the Safety Patrol heroically swings from vines of proper bus etiquette and drives a sled of huskies that look both ways at pedestrian crosswalks (we’re not exactly sure what Nanook of the North did, we’ve just heard of him in passing, probably from a weird uncle we’ve met like three times in our lives or perhaps a Far Side cartoon.)
Not everyone respects the noble safety patrol though, probably because disrespecting them is the logical and many would even say right thing to do. If our childhood were rap albums, Safety Patrols were the skits: annoying, omnipresent and difficult to program your Discman so that it would skip over them.
So it’s safe to say that your sympathies will probably lie with the kids who run around and play ball in the street, rather than the pre-pubescent NARC (Jimmy) that tries to keep them from getting run over, (Patrols with more than three fatalities on their watch don’t get to make the class trip to Washington DC).
Join Mike, Kevin and Bill as repressed memories of their own tyrannical safety patrols come back to haunt them and they instinctively cower in fear of Jimmy of the Safety Patrol!