If you're like us, then you've probably seen more than your fair share of time-travel movies. Everyone knows the rules, of course: don't touch anything, don't talk to anyone, and keep all your nifty future gadgets out of sight until a dramatically-appropriate moment. But have you ever wondered what might happen if you traveled through time and decided to just toss all the rules right out the window?

Sometimes you find yourself looking back on your childhood and asking yourself, "Did that ever really make sense to me? What was in my water?"

The Last Unicorn.  A gripping and sad tale of the ravages of extinction and...what?  Oh, apparently it's a whimsical romp of animation from people mainly known for Christmas specials coupled with several long musical numbers by those guys that sang Sister Golden Hair.

Chinese action director John Woo (no doubt cheered on by his own last name) takes on the world of Mission: Impossible with all the great performances of Broken Arrow and all the plausibility of Face/Off (not to mention face removal and off-putting faces...but I digress).

Die Hard may qualify with some of you as a "quality" flick, but think about what it brought you: The star power neccessary for Bruce Willis to make Hudson Hawk. The premiere of Severus Snape. The man who went on to direct Speed. And every cringeworthy action flick cliche? It was spawned HERE! How can you pass this up? We certainly didn't, and neither did the dozens of writers who came along for the ride.

They are NOT happy campers! Gary and Erin Slasher (the rippers of riffing) are back again to slice up another helpless horror movie for their own sick amusement, and yours as well.

Once upon a time in the seventies, a science fiction movie arrived in theaters that redefined what movies could be.  It was exciting, magical, overwhelming!  That movie, of course, was Star Wars...then Paramount asked "What do we have that we can use to milk these sci-fi fans dry with?"

Thus Star Trek made its debut in film with Star Trek:  The Motion Picture, a story so big, so massive, so filled with endless repetitive and slow paced minature effects shots, that it took the big screen to hold it all.

Jean's brother Steve is bringing his roommate home from college.  They're having a party, and it just has to turn out right!  This 1950 educational film warns us that our party will be a disaster without careful library research.  This is Team Swizzlebeef's long-awaited debut.

Please note: this is perhaps the only iRiff featuring bacon, furries, and a panda.

Down to Earth maniac, Gary Slasher, and his delightfully dead wife, Erin, are set to tackle one of the most important horror movies ever -- 1980’s Friday the 13th.

Sean Cunningham’s classic is dissected by the sharp tongues of this deadly duo whose bitterness over not having made it big in the horror industry has driven them mad. 

In order to avoid any potential accidental injury while viewing, please review the following:

Godzilla was originally about a Japanese guy in a rubber monster suit wrecking cities and fighting big moths. *Record-Scratch* But it's the 90's! And the 90's require a dope new attitude, and This ain't your daddy's Godzilla, and Parents 'll never understand it, and We just do, and Special effects and rap covers of Led Zeppelin songs are fine, but what kids really want is a cohesive plot and likable characters...NOT!

Hor-RIFF-ic Productions is proud to present the 2nd half of Stephen King’s classic made-for-TV epic -- IT.

Having been sufficiently tenderized by Cinester Theater in part one, Erin and Gary Slasher are set to devour IT’s remaining half. Mmmm....mediocre acting talent.

What can be expected from this creepy crapfest?