TRON. We can't really identify it as a movie. It's a shared experience of nostalgia. Everyone we talk to remembers loving it, but can't remember when they last saw it. And so we, in our continued efforts to improve our community, have taken it upon ourselves to educate the viewing public on just how bad this film really was.

Do janitors really have anything better to do than to repair windows?  How does a high school prank end in murder?  What does a turtle have to do with your safety?  Did you know that a newspaper can save your life?

Once in every generation comes that rare movie which forever more defines that group's childhood.  For the Japanese it was Kimba the White Lion.  Unfortunately, those of us in America were stuck with the Lion King.  Join the future stars of Broadway's the Producers, the voice of Darth Vader and, of course, the 3rd villain in the Die Hard series for a musical romp* through the film that paved the way for High School Musical 2.

What would happen if the Gamera franchise ran out of ideas and tried to pad out a new movie with random fight sequences from other Gamera movies? Destroy All Planets. Still, there is something to be said of the gore of giant monsters violently tearing into each other in a movie aimed at children and dressed as a family film.

“Cindy Goes to a Party” was filmed in Lawrence, Kansas, and that is literally the most interesting thing about it. This gritty film tells the tale of Cindy, a little girl who wasn’t invited to a party. When an emotionally needy fairy appears and whisks her away to crash the party, we learn exactly why she wasn’t on the guest list in the first place. Fans of superimposed text and crappy dissolve effects will be in heaven.

Sometimes you find yourself looking back on your childhood and asking yourself, "Did that ever really make sense to me? What was in my water?"

The Last Unicorn.  A gripping and sad tale of the ravages of extinction and...what?  Oh, apparently it's a whimsical romp of animation from people mainly known for Christmas specials coupled with several long musical numbers by those guys that sang Sister Golden Hair.

Special Edition released October 28, 2009


Welcome to The Movie Asylum: You Don't Have to be Crazy to Riff Here but it Helps!

The team that brings you QuipTracks breaks onto the public domain scene with QuipTracks: The Show!—a near half hour of old-fashioned riffing complete with video (including host segments)! No syncing necessary!

Episode 101 – Rocky Jones Space Ranger in "Escape Into Space"

Join Rocky Jones and his obnoxious sidekick, Winky, as they pursue Truck Harman, a traffiker of the "tarantula weed," who has, in fact, escaped into space.

Do you find yourself losing sleep at night waiting for the next Hollywood smash with time travel as it’s only major plot device?  Is it impossible for you to get enough of Paul Walker?  Do you like arrows?  Then Timeline is the movie for you. 

An uncompromising look at the world of bland adolescent dating rituals. Woody wants to take Ann to the “Hi-Teen Carnival,” but may only do so under the strictest of conditions. Asking her to go with him, for example, is not permissible. Apparently it is an unforgivable offense to ask a girl a direct question. The date does take place, against all odds, and the teeners attend a rave more wild and debauched than anything the denizens of Zion could imagine.* Urban legend holds that this short was written by Ed Wood, though I’d say it’s far too well plotted.