Chinese action director John Woo (no doubt cheered on by his own last name) takes on the world of Mission: Impossible with all the great performances of Broken Arrow and all the plausibility of Face/Off (not to mention face removal and off-putting faces...but I digress).

Rarely have the planets of Bad Acting, Bad Science, and Big Budget aligned so perfectly as in the 2003 blockbuster movie, "The Core". Contrary to what you are hoping, this "The Core" is not an inspirational video about your company's work ethic, nor a PBS special on apples; it's not even a new exercise regimen. No, this "The Core" spits on the work of H. G. Wells, replacing artistic genius with warmed-over technobablistic faux-facts*.

In the annals of Hollywood craziness, there will never be another like Tom Cruise. Thankfully, like the cold fusion we someday hope to harness, Tom's supply of cookoo is unlimited and never-ending. When we put out the call to the internet to send us jokes for Minority Report... well, let's just say that there wasn't a short supply available. We've taken the best of the lot and produced this riff for you and your Thetan-loving friends!

Wanna grab one of our other riffs? You can purchase them here:

Rudy is the heartwarming story of a mentally handicapped young man and his struggle to shed his legacy of working at the Terminator factory on Mustafar for his father to play football for the largest and most powerful football team ever: NOTRE DAME'S FIGHTIN' IRISH! Rudy travels to the far away land of South Bend to acheive his lifelong dream, to become one of the 2,000 players of Golden Helmeted gods that are the NOTRE DAME! team. Rudy overcomes all odds and faces challenges he has never faced before( like women, alcohol, and the college life style).

Down to Earth maniac, Gary Slasher, and his delightfully dead wife, Erin, are set to tackle one of the most important horror movies ever -- 1980’s Friday the 13th.

Sean Cunningham’s classic is dissected by the sharp tongues of this deadly duo whose bitterness over not having made it big in the horror industry has driven them mad. 

In order to avoid any potential accidental injury while viewing, please review the following:

An uncompromising look at the world of bland adolescent dating rituals. Woody wants to take Ann to the “Hi-Teen Carnival,” but may only do so under the strictest of conditions. Asking her to go with him, for example, is not permissible. Apparently it is an unforgivable offense to ask a girl a direct question. The date does take place, against all odds, and the teeners attend a rave more wild and debauched than anything the denizens of Zion could imagine.* Urban legend holds that this short was written by Ed Wood, though I’d say it’s far too well plotted.

Gotta Catch 'Em All? Not anymore! Pokèmon: The 2000th Movie takes on one of the greatest evils that man has unleashed upon the world: collecting! Pokèmon aren't something to be collected like plushies or trading cards! In other news, the Pope has denounced Catholicism and PETA is finally getting behind wild dog fights.

The Slashers are back!  Gary Slasher - the madman of movie riffs and his wife Erin Slasher - the corpse of commentary.

Still bitter about not being accepted by the horror “in” crowd they have decided to take their revenge on Stephen King’s The Children of the Corn, Hor-RIFF-ic Productions’ 2^nd victim.

Josh Way riffs this 1965 Sci-Fi "classic," featuring badly dubbed Russian astronauts, a highly impractical robot named John, and just a hint of Basil Rathbone for seasoning. An excursion to the planet Venus reveals the startling truth - that even in space, boring things are lame.

TRON. We can't really identify it as a movie. It's a shared experience of nostalgia. Everyone we talk to remembers loving it, but can't remember when they last saw it. And so we, in our continued efforts to improve our community, have taken it upon ourselves to educate the viewing public on just how bad this film really was.