An uncompromising look at the world of bland adolescent dating rituals. Woody wants to take Ann to the “Hi-Teen Carnival,” but may only do so under the strictest of conditions. Asking her to go with him, for example, is not permissible. Apparently it is an unforgivable offense to ask a girl a direct question. The date does take place, against all odds, and the teeners attend a rave more wild and debauched than anything the denizens of Zion could imagine.* Urban legend holds that this short was written by Ed Wood, though I’d say it’s far too well plotted.

Upper middle-class kids in LA have a case of the crazy.  They show up at a movie theater and trash the place.  So what could possibly cause them do to that?  Well drugs of course!  Fortunately Frank and Friday are on the case!  Marvel at intense dialogue!  Vomit at the detectives lunch selection!  Learn about many new and exciting products in the commercial breaks!

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What "solitary" figure in American folk lore deserves to be taken down a peg or two less than the Lone Ranger? Well strap on your spurs because OneWallCinema is about to do just that.  Firing silver bullets of wit and sarcasm, k1 and K2 take you on a 79 minute ride full of laughter and awkwardness as they tackle the beloved Lone Ranger and his cringe-worthy sidekick Tonto.  Hi ho Rifftrax aweigh!*

 

 

Back in 1977, an unknown little indie picture named Star Wars was quietly released.  It was a critical and box-office failure and has been criminally ignored ever since.  Now it’s time to dust off this obscure gem and give it the attention it deserves.

This daring film sparked a national dialog that led to the Truman Administration’s controversial “Thoughtfulness Index.” After a few cranky kids explain why they can’t be bothered with thoughtfulness, we spend way too much time with a disgustingly perfect family who are so darn thoughtful you’ll hurl. Their orgy of consideration and helpfulness escalates in bloody one-upmanship until each of them lies dead. Just foolin’. Nothing really happens.

This delightful short is about a boy. A boy that loves stamps. Could this boy that loves stamps have possibly developed a complex about making friends, because he'd rather be inside everyday, playing with himself and his stamp maker? Possibly so. More amazingly, a voice in his head has decided that no longer will this shut in be friends free. This voice has decided that he is going to be making friends with all sorts of people.

Get Ready... to rush out of the Cineplex! Sure, 1993 was a more innocent time. The world wasn't burdened with the knowledge of horrible things like reality television, the Backstreet Boys, Enron loopholes, or Star Wars prequels. So it comes as no shock that such a naive world could be snookered into thinking that a bus could actually fly. Now, in a more cynical age, Chris, Todd, and Danuuc have stepped forward to point out the elephant in the room... which happens to actually be an exploding hunk of public transportation.

Chinese action director John Woo (no doubt cheered on by his own last name) takes on the world of Mission: Impossible with all the great performances of Broken Arrow and all the plausibility of Face/Off (not to mention face removal and off-putting faces...but I digress).

Josh Way riffs this 1965 Sci-Fi "classic," featuring badly dubbed Russian astronauts, a highly impractical robot named John, and just a hint of Basil Rathbone for seasoning. An excursion to the planet Venus reveals the startling truth - that even in space, boring things are lame.

Once in every generation comes that rare movie which forever more defines that group's childhood.  For the Japanese it was Kimba the White Lion.  Unfortunately, those of us in America were stuck with the Lion King.  Join the future stars of Broadway's the Producers, the voice of Darth Vader and, of course, the 3rd villain in the Die Hard series for a musical romp* through the film that paved the way for High School Musical 2.