Are you afraid to go to parties because you might slather ice cream all over your pheasant au jus and try to shove it in your earhole?  Wouldn't it be great if your future self could come back and beat some sense into you?  Now you can deal with such involuntary time travel with the aid of forks, spoons, plates, fingers, and other eating implements beyond your limited comprehension.  Soon you'll be in demand as the most excitingly dull person on your block!  Riffs provided by Dana Simpson of "Ozy and Millie," Thomas K. Dye of "Newshounds" and David Brodbeck.