In a haunted, swampy mansion—way down in the deep south (the Florida Everglades to be exact)—obsessed B-movie fan LAWRENCE WOOLSEY was feeling down ‘round the mouth. His favorite TV series, Mystery Science Theater 3000, was cancelled back in 1999, and watching cheesy old movies has just never been the same. Sure, Lawrence (Don’t call him “Larry”, he hates being called “Larry”!) enjoys RiffTrax as much as the next guy, but they mostly make fun of more modern, big-budget flops rather than the B-monster flicks of old. Also, now that Mike Nelson and crew are safely on Earth instead of trapped on a satellite in outer space, the sense of desperation and suffering from being forced to watch bad movies is no longer present (and Lawrence really enjoys watching desperation and suffering).
So, using the small fortune inherited from his recently-deceased parents (who died under mysterious circumstances), Lawrence Woolsey has created Fanboy Sci-Fi Theater. Much like the late, lamented MST3K, Fanboy Sci-Fi Theater (or FST for short) specializes in torturing innocent victims by forcing them to watch bad movies while trapped in the basement of Woolsey’s mansion. Woolsey—who considers himself a “showman” in the tradition of B-movie producers such as William Castle, Jerry Warren, and Ed Wood—is aided in his evil endeavors by his inbred and inept sidekick, BUBBA, a local redneck who died and was resurrected as a zombie (There is some question as to whether Bubba’s stupidity is due to his being a redneck or a zombie…perhaps both, or perhaps neither).
Lawrence Woolsey’s cast of victims includes former Pizza Delivery Man, DAN ANGELO. Driving to Woolsey’s secluded mansion in the Everglades to deliver a pizza late one night, Dan soon found himself being pushed down a flight of stairs and locked in Woolsey’s basement, where he is now subjected to one bad movie after another. In order to appease his captors, Dan and his fellow prisoners must come up with humorous commentary for each film. As much as Dan complains about his imprisonment and the quality of movies he is forced to watch, he knows that if he fails to keep Lawrence entertained, he may find himself suffering an even worse fate…such as that of his fellow captive, Donovan.
DONOVAN AROUS (often called “Don” for short) was Lawrence Woolsey’s previous human victim before Dan Angelo. Don’s initial lack of cooperation in Woolsey’s plans, as well as his frequent escape attempts, resulted in Lawrence having his brain removed from his body and placed in a jar-like container that keeps it alive. Unable to move around as freely as his fellow prisoners, Don is now totally dependent on his jar’s artificial environment in order to keep his brain functioning. However, while he no longer directly challenges Woolsey’s authority, Don still considers himself to be smarter than his fellow captives and much too intelligent to be wasting his time watching such poorly-made movies. He often tries to come up with explanations for plot holes in movies, desperately looking to find logic where there is none.
THE GRIM GHOST was originally Jim Marley III, an 18th-Century gentleman whose pride and egotism during his lifetime resulted in his restless spirit being condemned to wander the Earth until he has atoned for his past misdeeds by learning humility. A former stage actor, Grim now finds himself drawn towards one poorly-conceived production after another, which naturally led him to Lawrence Woolsey’s Fanboy Sci-Fi Theater. Grim tries to add a touch of class to the production, as well as a broad sense of humor, in an attempt to improve the production quality enough that he may someday depart for less-depressing surroundings. Unfortunately, that day of liberation seems more and more unlikely with each passing film they are subjected to.
And so, Dan Angelo and his undead friends find themselves forced to suffer through every movie in Lawrence Woolsey’s vast DVD collection, one at a time, until they run out of bad films or until their wills are completely broken. Which will happen first? Stay tuned!