Eraser

 In 1996, we witnessed the advent of a Schwarzenegger film featuring many of the qualities that made his earlier films so -- you know, Schwarzeneggy - like those awful one-liners, and the fact that his character is basically a guardian to someone else for the entire film.

Eraser has plenty of the usual fare for a 90s action flick: crazy villains, an annoying female lead, a specialized government agency full of corrupt employees, a bad guy with a scar on his face, henchmen who either refuse to shoot or insist on missing, and a climax at (drumroll please) THE DOCKS!

Eraser also breaks new ground. Ah-nuld is forced to do battle with CGI alligators, drag queens, and gravity itself. (Okay, he doesn't actually fight the drag queens, but we're sure you'll agree that this would only improve what is already a nearly flawless film.)

This movie comes with a handful of timeless lessons, delivered by none other than the Terminator himself. Lesson 1: Don't put someone else's butt on the line just to make your own job a little easier. Lesson 2: Who you really are is on the inside, and no one can take that from you. Lesson 3: When things are at their absolute worst, you can always count on the mob.

Did I mention that there are CGI alligators in this movie? They roar like lions. James Caan is also in this movie. He doesn't roar so much, but he does give up control of his neck fat on a number of occasions, and we must say, it's very impressive. If you don't enjoy our riffing, we hope you at least marvel at his neck fat. Even if you do enjoy our riffing, take a moment to reflect on the neck fat anyway. You'll thank us.

A PAL version of this is included but it is important to note that we have no way of testing whether or not it actually syncs properly with the PAL version of the film. Purchase at your own risk!