Dark Matter Productions

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Q: What is an iRiff?

A: An iRiff is a home-made audio commentary that you can upload to the RiffTrax Store and sell to our thousands of daily visitors. You'll make 50% of the net revenue your iRiff generates, paid in quarterly installments on balances over $25.

Q: What do the different formats, NTSC and PAL, mean?

The short answer is that NTSC files are for people in North America, including the United States and Canada. PAL files are for users in regions other than Region 1, such as the United Kingdom and Australia. The long answer has to do with technical specifications of each format. NTSC and PAL have different framerates - meaning a PAL video actually is a bit faster than its NTSC counterpart, making it somewhat shorter. It's difficult to notice unless you have two versions of the same movie (or audio file) playing side-by-side; but eventually you'll notice the PAL version being ahead of the NTSC version. Sometimes the difference is as much as a few minutes! If you find that your mp3 file is constantly out of sync with the DVD you're watching, first make sure that you've downloaded the correct format of mp3 (NTSC for Region 1, PAL for elsewhere) and then check other things, such as the DVD version (Collector's Edition, Director's Cut, etc.) is correct for that mp3 file. These details are usually found on the product page. For more information on NTSC, as well as a list of countries that use it, click here. For PAL information use this link.

New iRiff: DMP - Peter Borik!

What's the best way to save money on actors? Did you say "hire B-list talent"? Oooooh, CLOSE! The real answer is "never show your character!" And in the case of this educational short from the 40s, that's exactly what happens with the death-dealing title character, Peter Borik. Here's another great way to save money - don't hire a dialogue writer! Yes, instead, dump tons of narration over the action.

Join me as I mock the sick and weak!

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New iRiff: DMP - Golden Years!

Nothing could possibly add more excitement to the sport of bowling. Nothing, that is, except huge splashes of gaudy color garishly slathered across the local bowling alley! The good people at Brunswick invite you to an enchanted fairyland of bowling wonder, courtesy of their amazing line of Chevrolet-inspired lane machinery. And if you feel any dizziness, for pity's sake, don't try to catch yourself on a wall.

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New iRiff: DMP - Tomorrow's Drivers!

Driving. Tomorrow. Tomorrow's drivers are likely to be the same drivers you drove with yesterday. The guy who goes to Starbuck's despite their inexplicably awful coffee. The lady who keeps swerving in and out of traffic while she pages through music on her iPod and texts her friends. The tubby guy who can't be bothered to walk the one measly mile to work every day. ...wait, I'm that guy.

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New iRiff: DMP - A Surprise For Jean!

There comes a special moment in every person's life. That moment is when their friends conspire against them on their birthday to attempt to prevent even MORE birthdays, by causing a cardiac arrest when they all leap out and scream "SURPRISE" at them. For Jean, this moment is now.

Join me - and my sister, May Nelson, in this all-new iRiff as we stomp all over the convention of the birthday surprise party!

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New iRiff: Justice League Of America Pilot!

It's the Justice League to the rescue... right after they get done doing some petty bickering in their super-stylish condo, that is. Join me as I poke fun at some less-than-super heroes in this, the iRiff of the JLA Pilot! Now, I know what you're thinking... "But that was never released on DVD!" Hold your water, Iceman! Included in the text file are a pile o' places you can find this movie.

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New iRiff: Lost City Chapter 7!

By now you know, but it's more of the same: Natives run around, women scream, there's space-agey stuff, and it's all completely incomprehensible.

Watch as the action (?) is mocked soundly in Chapter 7 of "The Lost City"!

Script and performance by Matt Nelson, special thanks to Kevin Rudolph for writing assistance.

Don't forget to buy all the other parts, available at The iRiffs Crossover Project!

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New iRiff: Thundercats Episode One!

Thunder... Thunder... Th- Do I really have to say it?!

The wildly popular 80s cartoon takes on a whole new dimension when viewed through the eyes of a cynical adult! Join me as I use the maiden voyage of the Thundercats for my own personal scratching post.

Don't forget to rate and review if you enjoyed this iRiff!

Performance and script by Matt Nelson; special thanks to Kevin Rudolph for writing assistance.

Liked this iRiff? Try this one from another Riffer!

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New iRiff: DMP - How Do You Know It's Love?!

Meet Jack and Nora. Jack is pretty sure he loves Nora, because she's much better than that dame Jill he dumped who left him high and dry at the bottom of a hill with nothing to show for it but a bucket of water. Nora, on the other hand, isn't so sure. How can she know whether or not the aching yearnings she feels are love, or just the drive to procreate? Join Dark Matter Productions on a whirlwind tour into the mysterious phenomenon known as... love.

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New iRiff: Insect Zoo!

When you think of zoos, you think of lions and tigers (and potentially ursine members). Well, we're having none of that today. Instead, I present to you chitinous monstrosities in the hands of children. Feast your eyes on theirs (all eight billion of them) and their shiny carapaces.

Script and performance by Matt Nelson.

If you liked learning about bugs, maybe you'd like to watch them get eaten! Check out this short below from a fellow Riffer!

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New iRiff: Play In The Snow!

Snow. Mounds upon mounds of coronary-inducing, backbreaking white wretchedness. And our children are heartily enticed, nay, encouraged to romp in this hateful frozen substance. Join me as we see what kind of reindeer games the kids can come up with - other than the Hypothermia Shiver.

Script by Matt Nelson and Kevin Rudolph.

Performance by Matt Nelson.

Liked this iRiff? Follow the link below to an alternate version of the same film!

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New iRiff: And Then There Were Four!

Featuring narration by Hollywood legend Jimmy Stewart, we follow five miserably wretched drivers as they weave their way about the city until one of them manages to turn themselves into a fine pink smear. (Well, grey smear; this is a black-and-white film, after all!) Will it be the down-on-her-luck widow? A newlywed husband? The brash young hot rodder? The stereotypical Italian (I... think?) gardener? Or the fat rich banker? Only Jimmy knows for sure!

Special thanks for writing assistance by Kevin Rudolph. Script and performance by Matt Nelson.

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New iRiff: Three Little Kittens!

Kittens. Nature's candy. Wait, no, that's raisins. But they are fascinating, and this short seeks to unravel the mystery that is the kitten like a fuzzy ball of yarn. Not unlike the balls of yarn that would be played with by... A KITTEN. Oh, they are an enigma. What drives them? What motivates them? And why do they want to bring the half-dead mouse to my bed before they will eat it? This short will answer not one of those questions, but there will be many, many shots of tiny, fuzzy kittens. This iRiff includes the video; no syncing necessary!

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New iRiff: Dragnet: A Gun For Christmas!

Just in time for the holiday season, a special to warm your heart and your trigger finger -- the very special Dragnet episode, "A Gun For Christmas". Meet Stanley, the boy who gets the aforementioned gun. He's your average nine-year-old boy... WITH AN URGE TO KILL. Can the intrepid police sergeant Joe Friday get to the bottom of the mystery -- and our hearts? This iRiff includes the video file - no syncing necessary!

Special thanks to my good friend Kevin Rudolph, who helped write and briefly appears in this iRiff! Script and performance by Matt Nelson.

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