Cinemasochism: Office Courtesy: Meeting the Public

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Ah, the secretary. The glue that holds the office together. Part file keeper, answering service, typist, stenographer, coffee maker and confidante. What would the average, modern day office do without them?

Well, back in 1953, Encyclopedia Brittanica thought that, in spite of the secretary's vital importance to the office, there was still much room for improvement. Young women who were whiny, had Betty Boop voices and who gave any person who dared step into their domain, an icy Stare of Death, had to be assimilated into the 1950's way of doing things. So, along with a cheerful, but dictatorial narrator, a meth head roommate and a Z-grade Rod Serling nightmare, our young protege, Barbara, is initiated Borg-style, into the industrial short way of doing things.

Step 1 was learning to smile non-stop, 8 hours a day. Step 2 was to shred any indiscretions that the boss does not want his wife to see (while fielding any angry calls from her). Step 3 was to chase perverts off of her desk, appease bankrupt Mr. Drysdale lookalikes and finally, to make sure the office had one only one uncomfortable chair for visitors to sit in, while keeping a steady supply of 10 year old <em>Reader's Digests</em> on hand.

After these lessons are learned, our fine young secretary is now ready to be a manager at the local post office. Gun in hand.

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