Join Commander Rick Wolf along with his robot pals Johnny Cylon and Topsy-Bot 5000, as they're forced to sit through their first short film and yet another trashy Italian horror flick at the hands of crazed inventor Dr. Harrison Blackwood! 

The Short: In this bone-chilling short, a young boy faces off with grumpy, demonic cars hell-bent on teaching him the rules of pedestrian safety (and giving him every complex in the book).

This daring film sparked a national dialog that led to the Truman Administration’s controversial “Thoughtfulness Index.” After a few cranky kids explain why they can’t be bothered with thoughtfulness, we spend way too much time with a disgustingly perfect family who are so darn thoughtful you’ll hurl. Their orgy of consideration and helpfulness escalates in bloody one-upmanship until each of them lies dead. Just foolin’. Nothing really happens.

Ahh the Philippines.  A lovely island nation off the Asian coast, the Philippines boasts a rich culture that flows over all its seven thousand plus islands.

And the soda, ahh the tasty soda.

What?  I just thought we could take some time and talk about Coca Cola and the Philippines, what's your problem?  It's not like I came up with it on my own, back in 1955 there was a whole film made on just that, and I've come to share it with you today.

Enjoy this short of highest quality, and don't forget to pick up some sugar-filled beverage to enjoy with it.

Join Commander Rick Wolf, along with his robot pals Johnny Cylon and Topsy-Bot 5000 as they’re forced to sit through the trashy horror epic Lady Frankenstein.

Italy’s take on the classic tale is the smuttiest one to date! After the Doc’s phallic-headed monster bear hugs him to death, his foxy daughter Tonya decides to use his lab as a boyfriend factory!

Did you feel that?  The ground is moving, something's under there!  Oh wait, somebody was just shaking with laughter after watching the newest Hor-RIFF-ic Productions victim: TREMORS!

Gary and Erin Slasher, along with Satan and a gaggle of their freakiest friends, are ready to drag this cult classic down and kick sand in its face.

Smelly, slimy, subterranean monsters not enought?  We've got more:

Special Edition released October 28, 2009


Welcome to The Movie Asylum: You Don't Have to be Crazy to Riff Here but it Helps!

Once in every generation comes that rare movie which forever more defines that group's childhood.  For the Japanese it was Kimba the White Lion.  Unfortunately, those of us in America were stuck with the Lion King.  Join the future stars of Broadway's the Producers, the voice of Darth Vader and, of course, the 3rd villain in the Die Hard series for a musical romp* through the film that paved the way for High School Musical 2.

TRON. We can't really identify it as a movie. It's a shared experience of nostalgia. Everyone we talk to remembers loving it, but can't remember when they last saw it. And so we, in our continued efforts to improve our community, have taken it upon ourselves to educate the viewing public on just how bad this film really was.

They are NOT happy campers! Gary and Erin Slasher (the rippers of riffing) are back again to slice up another helpless horror movie for their own sick amusement, and yours as well.

How can you make better use of your leisure time? Damned if we know, but maybe you'll know after watching Team Swizzlebeef take on this 50's educational short!