RiffMeter (47 votes)
About the DVD: Every care has been taken to ensure that this DVD is of the highest quality. It comes with a rich, machine-tooled plastic case, top-grade polycarbonate coating, and reflective layer, rafted from only the choicest Sri Lankan aluminum. In order to provide you with the finest viewing experience, each of the more than 27 million pits in the reflective layer of your DVD has been hand-carved by craftsmen, one pit at a time, using old world methods.
Before packing, the disks were sent to Roger in Product Management who viewed each and every DVD in its entirety to assure quality. (Nearly 8,700 viewings into the process, Roger went mad and attempted to claw his own eyes out with the plastic fork that came with his Baja Beef Gordito. Luckily, Roger was wearing glasses, the tines of his cheap fork broke, as they so often do, and his eyesight was saved. He has been reassigned to the Custodial Department.)