Catalog

$0.99
School's out, and this summer, there's only one place to find elementary school children.  No, not the basketball courts.  No, not the movie theater.  No, not the swimming hole, they cut down the rope swing after Tommy broke his leg.  No, not the mall.  No, not...
Average: 4.5 (56 votes)
Aug 13 2010
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As any dorm poster covered in photographs of shots that no adult would actually order at a bar could tell you, “Life is full of difficult decisions.”  Tommy, the hero of Decisions, Decisions, would surely agree.  His life has recently been rocked, as he was forced to move to a...
Average: 3.8 (33 votes)
Aug 10 2010
$1.99
It's every parent's nightmare:  You're woken up at 3AM by a knock at your front door.  When you open it, there's a somber looking policeman standing there, his hat in his hands. He avoids eye contact with you, and his voice quivers as he begins to speak.  Before he...
Average: 4.5 (75 votes)
Aug 6 2010
$9.99
The past decade has not been kind to John Travolta.  It began with Battlefield Earth, and ended with the movies about the middle-aged guys on motorcycles (Wild Hogs), the middle-aged adoptive fathers (Old Dogs), the middle-aged guy who found valuable...
Average: 4.2 (134 votes)
Jul 30 2010
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In honor of our new short, Things Are Different Now, we’d like to list some things that are different now.  In 2004, Mel Gibson was featured in Time’s “Man of the Year” issue for the success and spiritual impact of his film The Passion of the Christ.  ...
Average: 4 (27 votes)
Jul 23 2010
$2.99
Let’s get one thing straight: Vampires don’t sparkle in the sun; they burst into flame. Yes, they sleep all day, party all night, wear dangly earrings, ride motorbikes on the boardwalk and enjoy concerts by long-haired shirtless greasy saxophone players, but they JUST. DO. NOT. SPARKLE...
Average: 3.4 (59 votes)
Jul 14 2010
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You may think you know your Mealtime Manners, but much like the recent Kevorkian biopic that, despite starring Al Pacino, was sadly neither unintentionally hilarious nor full of rapid fluctuations in vocal volume, You Don't Know Jack! Mealtime Manners & Health posits the radical notion...
Average: 4.1 (31 votes)
Jul 9 2010
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Teaching kids about the evils of racism in a clear, culturally-sensitive manner is a difficult task.  Fortunately for us, it’s something the makers of educational shorts from decades past were woefully inept at!  Are People All the Same? takes an interesting approach.  In order...
Average: 4.2 (36 votes)
Jul 6 2010
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The bartender says "I was talking to the duck!"  And, so it was finished, before it had even begun.  She was a dark and stormy dame.  Really, that's a badger?  "Over there, behind the fake tree," she said.  The record scratched at midnight, as it...
Average: 4.1 (30 votes)
Jul 2 2010
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For years, The Weather has been the go-to topic for nervously discussing with your co-workers whenever you end up sharing an elevator with them after you fail to see them pull into the parking lot at the same time as you, leaving you unable to adjust your route on the fly.  "Some weather...
Average: 4.2 (21 votes)
Jun 29 2010
$1.99
Meet Roy, elementary school student.  Some children learn with more ease than others.  Every child learns with more ease than Roy.  He wants nothing from life except to be left alone: shy, silent, whittling off pieces of his desk in hopes that he’ll eventually find one that...
Average: 4.1 (35 votes)
Jun 25 2010
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Join the middle-aged drummer as this thrilling documentary follows his exploits during Rush’s 2009 Asian tour.  Leaving in his wake several bottles of FiberCon, completely unnecessary drum kit pieces, and pulp 1950s Sci-Fi novels with highlighted passages marked “use for lyrics...
Average: 4.2 (26 votes)
Jun 18 2010
$4.99
Includes a bonus track,"Ghan-Buri-Ghan" by the RiffTones! One of the hardest things to do with a popular series is to give it the conclusion it deserves. Some of the greatest entertainment phenomenons of our time, be it The Sopranos, Lost or Hi Honey, I'm Home! have failed to give...
Average: 4.7 (192 votes)
Jun 22 2010
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Do you ever stop to reflect on what an ungrateful, useless little puke you were as a child?  Like when your father came home after his 60 hour work week with the new lunchbox he thought you wanted, and you threw a red-faced tantrum because it was Go-Bots, not Transformers?  Or the time...
Average: 4.6 (43 votes)
Jun 15 2010
$2.99
Unasked questions. So many important historical events would have turned out so differently if people had only thought to voice their concerns when it really mattered. For example, the Amok Time episode of Star Trek would have had a running time of about 20 minutes if Kirk had said: “Listen,...
Average: 3.8 (31 votes)
Jun 11 2010
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One of the great questions ethicists have pondered over time has been "what is the right thing to do?"   Meet Mr. Carson, who has never answered this question correctly. He's the man who puts the "wretch" in "eking out a paranoid, wretched existence living in filth...
Average: 4.1 (22 votes)
Jun 8 2010
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Consider: a young boy, growing up in an urban setting with seemingly absentee parents, purchases a special plant from a quirky man who has assumed the moniker "Papa Nikolai".  The boy goes on to guard his new greenery from others with a fervor that borders on the paranoid, lashing...
Average: 4.1 (29 votes)
Jun 4 2010
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 Parts.  We all have them.  Some of them are public, like elbows and unibrows.  Some of them are private, like thigh pimples or the complete set of Bob Seger CDs that you pray your new girlfriend doesn't stumble across.  But did you know that people aren't the only...
Average: 4.5 (37 votes)
Jun 1 2010
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Many times we find ourselves mocking the content of the educational shorts we feature here at RiffTrax.  Most of the time it is quite deserved; if you will recall, not too long ago we did a short entitled Buying Food.  But occasionally we'll stumble across one like Geography...
Average: 4.2 (37 votes)
May 28 2010
$9.95
 Join Mike, Kevin and Bill as they exact their revenge on the safety and educational films you were forced to watch while your substitute teacher slept in the back of the classroom. THe guys serve up their signature brand of rapid fire, laugh-out-loud commentary over such classics as Contance...
Average: 5 (5 votes)
May 25 2010
$9.95
Join Mike, Kevin and Bill as they guide you through such cinematic masterpieces as The Case of Tommy Tucker, an instructional safety short that takes the brave and unprecendented step of sending its young hero to "Safety Hell" where he must argue his way out! Join Bewitched star Dick York...
Average: 4.3 (12 votes)
May 25 2010
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Reading: for now, it is the only way to experience the approximately four remaining books that have not been made into movies (three, after this summer's CGI heavy adaptation of Frog & Toad are Friends. Sam Worthington will play both title roles.) So you'd better be sure that your...
Average: 4.3 (28 votes)
May 21 2010
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 Every now and then you meet a child who forever changes your perception of how stupid a child can be. There's your second cousin's boy, Leon, who spends summer afternoons black-widow-huntin' in the woodpile. Or little cross-eyed Margie, with her affinity for drinking liters of...
Average: 4.7 (65 votes)
May 18 2010
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We all have a certain summer memory.  One that we find ourselves fondly reminiscing over as the days get longer and hotter.  A memory of a different time, when we still retained our childlike innocence, but possessed a desire to stretch our wings and explore the world around us. These...
Average: 4 (26 votes)
May 11 2010
$3.99
Widely considered to be one of the five or six best Harry Potter movies, Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire is a breath of fresh air for a series that desperately needed one. Casting aside the familiar tropes of the first three movies in favor of bold new innovations such as Quidditch...
Average: 4.6 (243 votes)
May 14 2010
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